I’m one of those single women whose eye gets frequently caught by headlines like: “How To Tell If He’s Into You,” or “Where To Meet Him,” or “Girl, GET YOUR MAN!” (Ok, I made the last one up, but it would’ve gotten my attention!) I have a few books about love and relationships, subscribe to relationship blogs, receive daily tidbits of info from dating coaches who always have that special offer that is about to expire in 24 hours and will never be offered again at that ridiculously low price! I’ve read that I shouldn’t call first, it’s ok to call first; never accept a text date, it’s fine to accept the text date; let him chase me, don’t make him chase but offer a challenge – whew! Sometimes the streams of advice cross one another and other times they meet up. From Patti, David, Steve, and Marni, to Cosmo, I-Village, and Essence… The list goes on and on. So, I decided to take a few pages from many sources and put the advice to the test. A little from here, a little from there – can’t go wrong, right? First up, online dating…
Almost all sources recommend going online in today’s dating world. In fact, most dating coaches or advisors assume that many singles have profiles on not only one, but several dating sites. That’s because online dating is far from being the car marked “desperation” – it’s a vehicle of choice for singles of varied ages, cultures, and lifestyles.
So I’m giving it a shot (well, I should say that I’m trying it again, but with a new set of instructions). I joined a popular site for free and followed the tips from the experts. So… Here goes!
Within minutes of posting three carefully selected pictures and keeping my profile brief but hopefully interesting, I received several messages. Some guys were outside of my age range (I’m in my 40s, why is a 22 year old messaging me??), others were not exactly my physical type – something I read I should overcome, but that’s a looonnngggg ways away (women are visual too)!
I came across a message from a cutie pie I will call “Matt” – a 6″4′, brown-haired, well-structured guy who wanted to know if I enjoy cream in my coffee. (Just so you know, cream is just fine, thank you!) Unfortunately, at 30 years old, Matt is a bit young for me, which I politely told him. Though he assured me that he is a successful, and grounded 30-year old who loves to travel and would like a chance to get to know me, I had to let him go. After all, he’s only seven years older than my son!
Next there was a message from an attractive man who showed as a 90% match! Seemed like a potential winner. After reviewing his profile and responses to the website’s questionnaire (and boy did he answer a lot of questions!), I decided to respond to his message. We had lots in common, both in interests and how we responded to many questions. I was feeling cautiously hopeful as I typed my short and sweet response. There was something that he wrote that needed clarification. I asked him why did he join a dating site if he was hesitant to meet a potential match in person. After a few minutes, his response was that he’d gotten caught up in “the struggle” and was serving time in jail with a release three years from now! O…K… He felt he needed to be honest because some women could deal with it, while others couldn’t. Guess which group I fell into…
As I continued moving on through messages, some vacant with a simple “hello” and others more interesting, I noticed one from someone familiar. His message was, “I know you!” So I responded, “Yes, I know you.” He was someone I went out with a few years ago, but for some reason it didn’t stick. I couldn’t remember why, which meant that it must not have been too bad. So when he asked me for my phone number, I gave it to him. Hmmm… where will this one go, I wonder? I’ll be back later with an update.
Until then, I’d love to know your thoughts on online dating. Personal success or failure? And what do you think about age differences? … What’s on your mind?
~ Cheryl ~